The Cullen Family Goes to Walmart!
by NumberOneTwihard
Summary: One day, Emmett gets a chain e-mail with the list of "Things Not to do at Walmart". Follow the Cullens as they do items from the list! Post Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! Stephenie Meyer does!

**Heeeyyy, this is my new story! I know there are a bunch like this, but give it a chance, KK? Well, here we go, The Cullen Family Goes to Walmart!**

Chapter One

Emmett POV

One random Tuesday in September, I was checking my e-mail. I noticed that I had a new one in my inbox. I clicked on the link, and it brought me to a huge list titled: The Things NOT to do at Walmart. I read through them, and it seemed like a cool thing to do.

"Emmett! No!" Edward yelled from upstairs, knowing what I wanted to do.

"Eddie, PRETTY PLEASE?" I screamed.

"No! We are not going to Walmart!"

At that moment, Renesmee came skipping down the stairs. She had a curious expression.

"Why does Dad not want us to go to Walmart?" She asked.

I motioned to the large list on the computer screen. A mischevious look crossed her face, and she nodded. Now that someone else was in on it, we were definitley going to Walmart.

Edward POV

"What does Emmett want to do at Walmart that you're so strongly opposed to?" Bella asked me.

"Love, he wants to do the 'List of things to do at Walmart'." I answered.

"Oh." She sighed. "Well, let's do it with him!"

I spun around on the chair to face Bella.

"Why?!" I asked, in pure shock.

"It sounds fun!" She replied. Bella jumped off of the sofa, and ran out the door, letting her sheild down for a mere second, only to think, _Bye, Love!_

Emmett POV

All of a sudden, Bella ran in the room. She looked... _giddy. _

"IwannagotoWalmart!" Bella yelled. She was so exited her words were slurred. Wow.

"Okay, we'll go!" I said.

"Yay!" Bella screamed. She fist-bumped Ness and me.

"IF ANYONE WANTS TO GO TO WALMART WITH NESS, BELLS AND I, THIS IS THE LAST CALL!" I shreiked. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Edward ran inside the living room. All of them looked really happy, exept Eddy, who's expression said: _I surrender._

"Okay, I'll go! But just because everyone else is." He said.

"Good! Okay, we are all going to go to Walmart, and do the 'List of things to do at Walmart'!" I said.

"Yay! I can go shopping while we're there! C'MON, jAZZ, TO THE CAR!" Ali screamed.

All of us ran to the garage. Rose, Carlisle, Esme and I got in my jeep; Edward, Bella and Ness got in the Volvo; and Alice and Jasper got in the Porche. We all started the cars, and drove off. This was gonna be fun.

"Why are we leaving the cars running, Uncle Emmett?" Ness asked me.

"Just in case a bunch of Walmart employees chase us out of the store, and we need to make a quick escape." I replied.

Everyone nodded, and we continued inside. I pulled the list that I had printed off out of my pocket, and unfolded it.

"Okay, when it's time for a new person to do a thing from the list, the person who last went gets to pic the number and the next person who will go. Understand?" I explained. "Since no one has gone yet, I wanna pick who goes! And i pick Number 19, and Jasper!" I smiled widley.

I gave the list to Jazzy-buddy, and he scanned it looking for the 19th number. His eyes widened in shock when he saw it, and he started to shake his head violently back and forth.

"No, No way!" He yelled.

"You- have to- Jasper!" Edward was laughing in between words.

"Okay, alright." Jasper surrendered. I pulled out a video camera and pressed the record button. This was gonna be good.

Jasper POV

I sprinted up to the closest male employee I could find. I squeezed my legs together, and yelled-

"AH! Dude, I need a TAMPON!"

The poor guy looked really confuzed for a while, but finially spoke.

"But- you're a guy..." He trailed off.

"Does it really matter!? Don't just stand there, hurry! These are new pants!"

He ran away to another aisle for afew seconds, and came back with a box of Tampax.

"Oh my God! You're a lifesaver!" I screamed. I ran as fast as I could while still looking human to the general direction of the bathroom, but went around the back way to where the rest of the family was waiting. When I got there, Renesmee and Edward were laying on the ground laughing and snorting, and Bella, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Carlisle and Esme were doubled over, almost convulsing with laughter.

"Hey, guys, don't laugh!" I said. They didn't stop.

"Shut up! I know who's gonna go next!" I yelled. They finially stopped laughing.

"I pick number 46, and..."

**CLIFFIE! You'll just have to wait and see who has to do #46. BTW, in this story, the numbers and actions don't match up. Like, Jasper had to do 19. On the actual list that could be like 59 or something. I just make up the numbers, but all of the pranks are on the actual list! Plz reveiw, and thanks alot for the ones you have posted!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! Stephanie Meyer does!

_"I pick number 46 and..."_

Chapter 2

Emmett POV

"Carlisle!" I yelled.

Edward and Alice bent over and laughed like there was no tomarrow, because they knew what number 46 on the list was.

"Come on," Carlisle said, "It can't be _that_ bad, can it?"

"Think again, Old Man." I said. I gave the list to him. Carlisle found the number, and an expression of shock was painted on his face.

"No. I am too proffessional for this! What if someone who I work with sees me? I will never be taken seriosly again!"

"Too bad. You'll just have to pray to whatever god that will listen that no one will see you."

Carlisle gave up. We followed him over to the women's lingere section. Carlisle began scanning the racks. Finially, he found the biggest, laciest bra in the entire store. He put it on over his clothes, and began to walk across the store. He found a male employee, and I turned the video camera on.

"Excuse me, but do you have this in a bigger size?" He asked, motioning to the bra.

"Ummm... No, sorry." The employee said. He turned away, and practically ran. Poor mentally scarred guy.

Carlisle POV

That was the most mortifying thing I had ever done in my life. I quickly took the bra off and ran back to the rest of my family. Everyone was laughing so hard. Even Esme!

"Esme, Love? Please stop laughing!" I said.

"Sorry, Carlisle! It's just too funny! Plus, Emmett video taped the entire thing!" Esme continued to laugh.

"Okay, well it's over now. And also, I get to pick who goes next. I pick number 28, and I want Bella to do it!"

"Okay." Bella said. I gave her the list, and she said, "NO! That's disgusting! What if they start hitting on me?"

"Love, I'm not to thrilled with it either. But it is pretty funny." Edward said to her.

Bella POV

"Okay, I'll do it, but I'm not gonna like it." I agreed.

Renesmee put her hand to my cheek. _What do you have to do, Mom?_

"I have to hit on old men. It's gonna be gross, and-" I was interrupted by my daughter, who abruptly burst out into laughter, and dropped to her knees and started to snort, which made everyone else laugh too. When everyone finially stopped, I walked across the store, with Emmett and the rest of my family close behind. Of course, Emmett was video taping. He was probably going to put it on You Tube. Ugh.

I found an old man, pushing a shopping cart alone. I also noticed that he didn't have a wedding ring. I was about to hit on a single old guy. This couldn't be good.

"Hi, handsome," I purred.

"Well hello there!" He said.

"Why don't we go back to my place, huh?" I asked seductivley.

"Yeah." He tried to smooth back the little hair that he had, but instead of impressing me, I almost burst out laughing.

"Okay. Here's my number. Make sure you call me later." I took out a pen, and wrote a seven digit number on the back of his hand. I smiled and sauntered away. When I got back, everyone was staring at me, like I had done some crime, exept for Edward and Alice, of course. They knew who's number I had written

"Bella Cullen! What were you thinking? You gave our number to a pervy stranger!" Rosalie yelled.

"Yeah, Mom? What was that?" Renesmee scolded.

"Guys, calm down. That wasn't our number." I said.

"Than who's was it?" Emmett asked.

I hesitated for a few seconds, trying not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. I laughed anyway. "It- It was- Ha!- MIKE NEWTON'S!" I shouted in between laughs and snorts. Every one was quiet for a while, but soon erupted into howls of laughter.

00000

"Attention, Walmart shoppers, the store will be closing soon. Please get your merchandise and proceed to the checkout counters." The voice on the intercom said.

"Hey, when we leave, why don't we go to Mike's house and spy on him? That old guy may call, and we can listen in to their conversation," Renesmee suggested.

"Oh Gosh, Ness is turning into an Emmett!" Jasper shouted. He picked Renesmee up, and ran off with her, slung over his shoulder. Nessie was giggling, and Jasper was yelling stuff like, 'Don't worry Ness, the nice doctors won't let you turn into... _him_...'

"JASPER BRING MY DAUGHTER BACK NOW! WE ARE STILL IN WALMART! PEOPLE ARE STARING!" Edward yelled.

Jasper and Nessie came walking back, laughing.

"So, are we going to Mike's?" Renesmee asked.

All of us shared smiles, and mischevious glances. We were going to Mike Newton's house.

**NEXT STOP, MIKE NEWTON'S HOUSE! Did you guys like this chapter? Please reveiw, and thankyou for the ones you have posted!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! Stephenie Meyer does!

Chapter Three

Renesmee POV

Afew minutes after we left Walmart, we drove to Mike Newton's house. Even though I didn't know him, my family had told me alot about him. He used to hit on my mother, Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose, and he was really weird.

When we got there, we pulled up on the other side of the road, to not make Mike suspicious. Uncle Emmett turned the video camera on, and we silently ran to the window, which, luckilly, was open.

The phone started ringing, and Mike ran downstairs. He picked up the phone, and there was no doubt it was the old guy.

Mike POV 

I was laying on my bed doing homework, when the phone rang. I ran downstairs and to the living room. Before I picked the phone up, I swear I could hear quiet laughter coming from outside the window! Maybe I was going crazy.

I picked the phone up, and this dude was on the other line.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"This is Vincent, the man from Walmart."_ What? I havent been to Walmart since I saw that video on You Tube, The People of Walmart. That thing scared the crap out of me._

"Ummm... I don't know who you are. I haven't been to Walmart in, like, two years."

"Oh, don't be afraid of me, baby. You know you gave me your number at Walmart. Why don't you come over to my house? My adress is-"

"NO! GOD, NO! YOU ARE SCARY! I HAVE NOT BEEN TO WALMART IN TWO YEARS, AND I DEFINATLY DID NOT GIVE MY PHONE NUMBER TO SOME CREEPY OLD GUY! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?"

"The pretty girl from Walmart, of course!"

"You think I'm a girl? I don't sound like a girl whatsoever!"

"Well, you kind of do..."

"UGH!"

I hung up on him. That was really creepy. That guy was way too serious for it to be a prank- which ment it was real! *Shudder*

Emmett POV

"Did you get it all on camera?" Renesmee asked.

"Of course!" I gave her a high-five "Good idea, Ness."

We drove home, and when we got there, Renesmee still wasn't tired, so we decided to play a game.

"Monopoly?" Jasper suggested.

"Nah, too boring." I told him.

"Clue?" Alice asked.

I shook my head.

"Hey, what about Truth or Dare?" Bella asked.

"Perfect!" I yelled, "Okay, here are the rules. What ever dare that we pick has to take place in North America only. No Europe, or anything else. If you refuse a dare or a truth, you have to go to school dressed like the opposite gender for a week. And, Bella gets to give you a new name!"

Everyone burst into laughter. We still made fun of her for picking terrible names. At first, we all thought 'Renesmee' was a weird name, so making fun of her kind of stuck.

"You guys! My name choices aren't that bad! Right Renesmee?" Bella cried.

"Well, they sure are very_...creative_, Mom." Renesmee said.

"Okay! Well, since you guys made fun of me, I get to go first. Jasper, truth or dare?"

"I'm not a wimp. Dare." He said.

"I dare you to dress as Big Bird, paint your convertible to look like the Wiggles' car, go to a busy street in Seattle, and drive around singing Fire Burning by Sean Kingston with the top down!"

The room erupted into cheers of laughter.

"Okay! I'll do it, but just because I don't want a stupid name..."

Jasper POV

In the matter of three hours, Alice and Rosalie had found me a Big Bird costume, and Edward, Bella Renesmee and Emmett had painted my car red and yellow, with 'The Wiggles' painted on the front.

Esme was out of town looking at furniture to remodel another house, and Carlisle was at the hospital, so it was just Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, Edward, Ness and I. Less people to see me embarass myself. I got in my Wiggles car, and the rest of my family piled into the Porche and the Volvo.

When we were in Seattle, we found a very busy street. Alice parked the Porche, and Edward parked the Volvo so everyone could see. I rolled the top down on my car, put the Big Bird costume on over my clothes, and sang-

_"Shawty got that super thing._

_Hotter than the sun in the south in Spain._

_Got me soon as I walked through the door._

_My pocket started tickling,_

_The way she drop it low, that thang._

_Got me wan' spend my money on her, her._

_She get it, pop it, lock it, drop it, that birthday cake!_

_Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away!_

_Now take my red, black card and my jewelry. _

_Shawty is cool like the fire, cool like fire!"_

People were now beginning to stare, and laugh as I was driving and singing. One mother got scared of me, apparently. As soon as she saw me, she rushed to her car with her kids in tow. This was so terrible. Bella was lucky she had Edward. If he wasn't there, I would so rip her head off when we got home.

_"SOMEBODY CALL 911!_

_Shawty fire burnin' on the dance floor!_

_WOAH-OH!"_

By now, there were people rolling around on the sidewalk laughing. But, the dare wasn't over. Bella said that I had to sing the whole song. Ugh.

_"She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor,_

_She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor!_  
_That body is a masterpiece._

_The order is one in every hundred years._

_But ain't no doubt I'm taking it home, home!_

_Little mama game is about to change,_

_She'll be on covers over the world._  
_She get it, pop it, lock it, drop it, that birthday cake!_

_Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away._

_Now take my red, black card and my jewelry._

___SOMEBODY CALL 911!_

_Shawty fire burnin' on the dance floor!_

_WOAH-OH!_

_Shawty is cool like the fire, cool like fire._  
I gotta cool her down,

_She wan' bring the roof to the ground,_

_On the dance floor, WOAH-OH!"_

I looked over at my family, who were laughing like maniacs. Renesmee was laying in the back seat, with more than half of her body laying out of the door. She was about to fall out of the car, because she was laughing so hard.

_"She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little Shawty's fire burning on the dance floor,_

_She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little Shawty's fire burning on the dance floor!_

_She got that fire in the dance,_

_That'll make them fellas run around, hey!_

_No exit from the dance floor, so them boys wan' more, hey!_  
_She got that fire in the dance, t__hat'll make them fellas run around._

_No exit from the dance floor, so them boys wan' more._

_She get it, pop it, lock it, drop it, that birthday cake!_

_Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away!_

_Now take my red, black card and my jewelry,_

_Shawty is cool like the fire, cool like fire!_

_SOMEBODY CALL 911!_

_Shawty fire burnin' on the dance floor._

_WOAH-OH!_

_I gotta cool her down._

_She wan' bring the roof to ground,_

_On the dance floor, _

_WOAH-OH!_  
_She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little Shawty's fire burning on the dance floor,_

_She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor,_

_That little Shawty's fire burning on the dance floor!_  
_SOMEBODY CALL 911!"_

I quickly drove back to my family, took off the costume and threw it in the nearest dumpster.

"Oh, my gosh, Jasper! Who's this 'Shawty' girl?!" Alice yelled angrily.

Everyone laughed for what seemed like an hour.

"Guys, don't forget that I get to pick who goes next! Renesmee, truth or dare?"

**Haha, did you guys like Jasper singing? I came up with that dare all by myself, aren't you proud of me? _I'm_ very proud of me! It was just this idea that popped into my head about an hour ago... Hahaha! KK, stay tuned so you can see what Renesmee's dare is! Please reveiw, and thanks for ones you have posted! Love ya!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! Stephenie Meyer does!

Chapter Four

_"Renesmee, truth or dare?" _

Renesmee POV

What? Uncle Jasper had just picked _me? _I was the youngest- only the appearance of a 15-year-old. Wasn't everyone supposed to go easy on me?

"Ummm..." I murmured.

I looked at my father for reassurance, but he just smiled. Ugh.

"Dare, I guess. Should I be afraid?"

Jasper smiled.

"Very. But we're going to have to go home to do it though." He said.

_Oh God._ That made me more scared.

Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme got into their car, said bye, and drove off to the hospital, like they said they were going to earlier today.

Uncle Jasper jumped into the driver's seat of the Volvo, and I got in the passenger side. This was going to be a long trip home.

When we got home, I climbed out of the car, and walked into the living room with everyone close behind. I plopped down on the sofa, not feeling anxious to hear the dare.

"Ness, I dare you to go to the refrigerator, take out the first food item that you see, and passionately kiss it for 30 seconds, and then call Jacob, and tell him that you are leaving him to go to Vegas with the name of the food you kissed." Jasper laughed.

I think my jaw hit the floor.

"What?!" I shouted.

"You heard me." He retorted.

"Okay, I'll do it!" I said, exasperated.

I walked over to the kitchen, and opened the fridge door. The first thing that I saw was a big piece of cheddar cheese. Weird. I picked it up off the shelf, and leaned to press my lips to it. I stood there for a while, my lips barely touching, but then my family started yelling.

"C'mon, Nessie! I said _passionately_!" Jasper cried.

"Make out with it!" Emmett boomed.

My parents and Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice were just sitting there laughing. I finally began to kiss it more passionately. Anything to make this get over with.

"Twenty, nineteen, Eighteen-" My family counted down in chorus. Good. Less than twenty seconds left.

"Five, Four, Three, Two, ONE!" They yelled. As I walked back into the living room, I said,

"There. I'm done. You can stop laughing, now."

"Nuh- Uh!" Aunt Alice sang as she held out her cell phone.

"Ugh!" I sighed. I took the phone from her. I dialed Jacob's number, and put the Droid to my ear.

_Hello?_

"Jake?"

_Hey, Ness! What'cha need?_

"I have something to tell you."

_Hit me._

"I'm... breaking up with you."

_WHAT? But, that doesn't even make sense! You're my imprint! We were made for each other! Ness, don't leave me!_

"Sorry, Jacob, but I've met someone else. His name is... Mr. John Mc Cheddar." Wow. That was a more creative name than I thought I could come up with... "We're leaving to go to Vegas to get married in two hours. But, hey, at least I told you, right?"

_No! Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I am going over to your house right now! I need to take you to the hospital. You're delusional!_

He was in hysterics, now.

"Sorry, Jake. Oh, what's that Hon?" I hesitated, like someone was talking to me. "Cheddar wants to leave early. Traffic may be bad. Were getting in the car right now." I said, solemnly.

_Wait, Ness, by Washington law, I don't think you're old enough to get married! You're technically 15. Did Bells and Edward approve-_

I hung up before he could go on with a bunch of legal crap.

"He's going to be here in five minutes." My dad said, laughing.

"Nessie, go hide in the upstairs closet! If you're not here, he'll think you actually left!" Uncle Emmett yelled.

I sprinted upstairs. I was actually having a lot of fun with this. I ran to Emmett and Aunt Rose's closet, jumped in and shut the door. I waited there for a while, trying to stay quiet, even though Jacob wasn't here yet.

Suddenly, I heard the front door open downstairs, and it slammed against the wall. Obviously, Jake was here.

"Where in the hell is this 'Cheddar' guy?" Jacob roared.

"John and Renesmee just left about three minutes ago." My dad said. He was surprisingly calm.

"Wait, leech, YOU APPROVED OF THIS?"

"Of course. Ness loves John."

I heard a crash downstairs, and a slamming of piano keys, followed by another crash. I heard shouts coming from Dad, Mom and Jake.

I jumped out of the closet, and sprinted downstairs. I saw that half of the Grand Piano was smashed, and Mom was trying to pry Jacob and Dad off each other, 'cause they were fighting.

"What the hell?" I shouted, astounded at the sight in front of me. Jacob's head whipped around to look at me. Immediately, his expression softened, and his hands let go of Dad.

"Ness?" He asked, half relieved, half angry.

I smiled shyly.

"I thought you ran off with a random guy!" He cried, obviously hurt.

"Jakey, I would never do that to you. There is no John Mc Cheddar- well, there is, but he's a big block of cheese...But anyway, we were playing Truth or Dare. I had to do that." I explained.

"Oh. Well, sorry I freaked out on your parents, Ness."

"S'okay. I thought it was kinda cute. I'm happy you care so much about me."

We started to kiss, but we were interrupted by Uncle Emmett.

"AAH! STOP THE PDA! I HAD TO LIVE WITH BELLA AND EDDY HERE, AND NOW YOU! ROSE, WHERE'S THE BRAIN BLEACH?" He shrieked. I turned my head just in time to see Emmett running at vampire speed into the kitchen.

"Sorry about the piano, Dad." I apologized.

"Yeah, sorry Edward." Jacob said.

I looked over at my dad, who had a shocked expression on his face. I waved my hand in front of his eyes, to get him to snap out of it, but he didn't budge.

"My piano..." He whispered.

Jake gave me a look that had a double meaning. It meant, 'Oops,' and 'I think he's spiraling into depression'.

I heard heavy footsteps coming back into the living room. It was probably Emmett, considering the fact that he's the only one who left the room.

"Rose, you're no help at all. I asked you where bleach was, and you just stood there laughing! Thanks to you, I'm mentally scarred!" Emmett complained.

Rosalie just shook her head, with a smile plastered on her face.

"Emmett, we show much more PDA than all of the couples in this house _combined. _I think you can handle it_."_

All of a sudden, there was a shrill ringing. A phone. My mom patted her pockets, untill she found her phone, lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"It's Carlisle."

Bella POV

"Hey, Carlisle," I greeted.

_Hello, Bella. I was calling to tell you that I have to stay at the hospital late. I'll probably be there until tomorrow evening._

_"_Oh, okay, then. Thanks for telling us."

_No problem. See you all later. And tell Emmett to stay out of trouble!_

I glanced over at the kitchen, with its cleaning supplies scattered around the floor. 'Too late for that,' I thought.

"Okay, I will. Bye."

I put the phone down from my ear, and tapped the red icon on the phone screen.

"Hey, he said that he has to stay at the hospital until tomorrow afternoon. And Emmett, he wants you to stay out of trouble," I told everyone.

"Can you text him and say I won't be able to stay out of trouble?" Emmett asked mischievously.

"Why?" I asked.

He looked at the clock. 6:00 AM. Something seemed very familiar about that time, but before I could realize what it was, Emmett started to yell.

"BECAUSE WALMART JUST OPENED AGAIN!"

Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand, and then Renesmee's, and he dragged them out the door and into the garage.

"Come on!" I heard my daughter shout. This was going to be fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything! *Starts singing Nothing by The Script* I got nothin', I got nothin'...**

Chapter 5

Emmett POV

There it was! Wal-Mart! I sprang out of the car, and ran as fast as I could through the _exit_ doors! I was such a rebel! As I passed the funky greeter guy beside the entrance, I slowed down. Didn't want him to think I was crazy, or anything.

Aha! Right there, by the little walk-in doctor's office thing- The little mini golf carts that people ride on! I jumped on the closest one and drove as fast as I could toward the other side of the store.

Alice POV

Oh, God. I just had a vision of what Emmett was planning to do inside of Wal-Mart. I looked over at Edward, who was pinching the bridge of his nose in awe. He had seen it, too. His idea was surprisingly smart, but very stupid at the same time. We needed to find Emmett.

When we got inside, we all ran to the back of the store, where we believed Emmett was. Sure enough, he was there-

Stacking condom boxes into the small basket in the front.

"What are you doing?" Bella cried.

"So, you see here, little sis," Emmett said to her, "I'm putting condoms in the basket, then I'm going to drive beside people's carts, and throw 'em in! That way, I won't get caught, because these things go really fast!"

To demonstrate, he stepped on the little pedal, to make it touch the bottom of the cart, and he sped away. The small cart was actually very fast.

"Let's do this thing!" Ness yelled, running toward the front of the store to get a cart.

_I want whatever she's on, _I thought.

Edward laughed beside me and rolled his eyes.

Seconds later, Renesmee came speeding back on her cart filled with condom boxes.

"Bye, bye!" She called to us, already halfway down the aisle.

Renesmee POV

I raced down the aisles, passing people as I went along. At every basket I passed, when people had their backs to the cart, I threw a box of condoms in. This was mean, but really fun!

I passed a teen who looked to be about 18. Threw a box in. Passed a young couple- threw a box in. But then, I saw one of those extreme couponer people! Like, on that show on TLC! I parked the cart a few aisles away, and crept up on the five baskets. I had learned that extreme couponers take shopping very seriously. When the woman had her back turned, dumping bottles of mouthwash into her cart, I slid and rolled like a ninja, to the bottom of the cart, and threw a few boxes in, and ran back to my cart as fast as I could.

I started the cart, and drove away. As I passed the coupon lady, I saw her inspecting the bottom of her cart. Obviously, she found what the Wal-Mart Ninja left. That's my new nickname: The Wal-Mart Ninja. Pretty cool, huh?

I was laughing so hard, my cart was swinging across the aisle, because I couldn't hold onto the steering wheel- I was shaking. All of a sudden, I looked up, and there was a large shelf inches away from the cart.

At the speed I was going, when I crashed, I hit my head on the corner of the shelf, which hurt quite a bit. In addition, The cart had a large dent in the front, but the biggest problem is that the shelf started to rock back and forth.

One by one, shelves fell, causing a large domino effect all over the store. Items fell off, causing them to spill out all over the floor. The last shelf fell on the tile floor with a huge thud.

I heard someone screaming, and then the shrieking of police sirens.

_Uh-oh._


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight- I just make them knock over shelves at Wal-Mart! **

**Happy New Year, everybody! 2013! Yay! I'm just slightly irritated, though- I'm gonna write the year wrong on all my school papers for, like, 2 months! :)**

Renesmee POV

Handcuffs hurt. A lot.

When the police got to Wal-Mart, my entire family was handcuffed and brought to the police station for questioning. Luckily, we were in Seattle, not Forks, so Uncle Charlie wasn't there. It would've been very bad if he was here.

Even though it was all my fault, because I was the one that crashed, everyone else tried to take responsibility for the accident. Including my parents, for not stopping me from running off with Uncle Emmett.

Emmett. He had mysteriously disappeared after I knocked down the Wal-Mart shelves. No one knew where he went. Not even Dad. apparently, Uncle Emmett was blocking his thoughts, or something.

So here we were- in a cell. Me, Aunt Rose, Aunt Alice, and Mom were together, and Dad, Uncle Jasper and Jacob were in the cell beside us. W e wouldn't be here for long- the officer said a week, tops, but I still wanted to get out of here. Prison is a scary place. Of course, my vampire family couldn't get hurt by the creeps here, and Jake can defend himself, but I'm half human! I'm not that much stronger than a normal human.

I would know that there were creepy people here, because once I watched one of those prison shows about the people's lives. Kinda scary.,

"Ugh, when can we get out of here? Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme are coming over with bail money, right?" I complained.

"Yeah, I think," Mom replied.

"Sorry, you guys!" I called, making sure everyone could hear me in different cells, even though they all had super-hearing.

A chorus of 'It's okay's echoed through the hallway.

All of a sudden, I heard a banging noise under the floor. I gave everyone a questioning look.

Then, there was a rustling, and the concrete on the floor began to crack.

_What the-?_

Next, a big hole burst open in the floor, and Emmett popped his head through it.

"Hey, homies! I came to rescue you guys!" He cheered.

"How'd you get in here?!" Rose asked, in awe of how her husband was able to get through the floor.

"Durh! With this! Wha-la!" He held up a soup ladle.

_A soup ladle?_

"You broke through a concrete floor with _a ladle_?" Mom asked him.

"Nuh-uh! This, too!" Emmett held up a **_spork_**.

Face-Palm moment.

* * *

The End

* * *

**A soup ladle, you guys. Never under-estimate Emmett!**


End file.
